Late summer 1985, and I’ve been told to get to bed. I’m just beginning the seventh grade, and Mom and Dad are enforcing the bedtime rules. Lying in bed, I struggle to fall asleep, even though the room isn’t quite dark yet. I can hear the sounds of a late summer night though my open bedroom window: a dog barking; an occasional car whooshing down the street, temporarily drowning out the mad cacophony of frogs and insects; the neighbor’s sprinkler swishing in his front yard, striking our aluminum siding every 43 seconds.

I hear Daddy’s footsteps pounding up the stairs. He opens the door gently, and pokes his head in. I’m pretending to be asleep. “Psst. Hey. Get up. He’s about to do it,” he whispers.
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ANN ARBOR, MI - A local subdivision was evacuated yesterday after a Hazmat team responded to a reported tuna contamination. Paula Flemming, of 432 Culver Dr., found the can of tuna in the trunk of her car, a Lincoln Mercury.

“I opened the trunk, and it was just sitting there,” said Flemming. “I couldn’t believe it. I grabbed the kids and ran to the neighbor’s house to call 911.”

Sheriff Wesley Muntz was the first responder on the scene, and made the decision to call for Hazmat support. “I wasn’t going to take any chances. There’s a lot of young children in this community,” said Muntz.

Hazmat removed the tuna from the Mercury without incident, and the evacuees were able to return home a few hours later.

“The scary thing,” said Flemming, “is that it was the same brand of tuna I buy every week at the grocery store. And it was just sitting there in my trunk - right where I usually bring my groceries home.”

She is considering her legal options, which may include joining the class-action lawsuit filed against Ford Motor Co. by a number of former customers, who also claim to have found tuna in their Mercurys.

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