Archive for the 'Humor' Category

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Yay parenthood

“How does a cow go, sweetie?”

MOOOooooooooo.

“Good! How does a cat go?”

Meeee-yyyoww.

“Haha!! How about a pig?”

Oinkoinkoinkoinkoink.

“Good. How does a Mommy go?”

“NOoo-putdatdown!!!”

Exposing children to secondary bad chart design is bad for their health

Yes, *sniff*, our kids are being desensitized to poor data visualization.

Check out this craptacular chart from the back of a Cheerios box:

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I would have had soooo much fun critically evaluating this, but Carl beat me to it already:

First of all, every condition shows a decline in concentration overall – with 8am as the benchmark! I can’t concentrate on walking at 8am! Downhill from that is comatose!! And what is this poisonous rubbish that causes such appalling degradation of intellectual activity? First up, a glucose drink! The breakfast of champions! Who hasn’t left the house of a morning, pausing only to swallow down a couple of cans of Tango or Lucozade? I’m reminded of Bill Bryson’s “Rated FIRST against the Ford El Crappo for safety!” diatribe on advertising – if a glucose drink is the only competition then Cheerios can’t be doing too well against anything more sensible. But wait! Sugary energy drinks aren’t the only competition! The other condition is.. no breakfast! Which actually beats Cheerios in the first half hour! Clearly, the subjects were still mulling over the pseudo-scientific crap they’d just read on the Cheerios box and couldn’t concentrate on.. whatever it was they were given. In the end, of course Cheerios come out on top but it hardly tells you anything you didn’t know before – as the only solid food in the experiment you might equally read the result as,

Cheerios – better for you than starvation.

 

Won’t someone think of the children? The WORLD IS FALLING APART PEOPLE! While you’re sitting there every morning, dressed in your smelly nightclothes with frizzled bed hair flying in all directions, hunched over your life-awakening elixir of coffee like it’s some sort of sacred idol, your kids are pounding Red Bull and losing 0.06 seconds of reaction time by 11:30 am every morning!

You oughta be ashamed of yourselves.

theIcons

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How to handle a bee infestation

Step one – Realize that calling pest control costs $$.

Step two – Immolation. Merciless, petroleum-fueled immolation.

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Step three – Realize that buying your kid new swings costs $$ too, but at least you got to burninate stuff.

I’ll bet you his neighbors NEVER complain about loud music or tall grass ever again.

Link

So long, funnyman

Joseph Barbera (of Hanna-Barbera fame) died today at age 95.

It’s unfortunate that most only remember Hanna-Barbera for their poorly-animated-looping-backgrounds cartoons of the 60s and 70s cartoons (“How long have we walked by that pik-a-nik basket, Boo-boo?”) or the Flintstones. In fact, their best work was Tom and Jerry, and the cross-town friendly competition with Warner Brothers in post-WWII Hollywood was where the art of animation really became legendary.

Here is the pinnacle of Barbera’s career:

If you’ve got spare time, go here to see over one and a half hours of Tom & Jerry cartoons that reside in the public domain.

Springtime on Mars

Ever wonder what happens to all of those probes that crash on Mars?

HT: nickjsky

Shocking, really

THIS JUST IN:

Hey, it turns out there IS lightning on Uranus, after all.

Now this is an exciting story to tell the grandchildren. I don’t have stories like that. I’m not what you call the “exciting type.” Unless you count when I take my shirt off & jump on my moped and ride full-speed through the nearest cornfield, cackling like the Joker on nitrous oxide while letting the stalks whap-whap-whap my tender flesh into blissful contusive glory. But hey – everyone needs his “me time,” even if it’s kinda unexciting.

But I’d still rather risk the cavities, is all I’m saying.


…and it burns, burns, burns…the ring of fi-yah