George Lucas has finally caved, and will be releasing DVDs of the original three Star Wars films (Episodes IV, V, and VI) - unaltered.

That means you’ll finally be able to see Han shoot Greedo first on your own televison. Until now, all DVD owners have been able to see is the disgusting re-edit of that famous cantina scene, where Greedo shoots first, then Han responds in “self defense.”

Using a complex set of algorithms, modern computer technology, and a team of research scientists, I was able to re-create the original cantina scene. As you can clearly see in the quality rendering we were able to produce, Han clearly shoots first:

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Oldie but a goodie:

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What she says: “Hey, know what I was just thinkin’?”
What she means: Get your toolbelt out, dude; your day is shot.
How you respond: [groan] “What?” *do what she says*
How you should NEVER respond: “Here’s my credit card… why don’t you go shopping while I watch the game?”

What she says: “Are you cold?”
What she means: Get a blanket for me.
How you respond: Get a blanket for her.
How you should NEVER respond: Offer to burn her old Tae-Bo videos for warmth.

What she says: “If I gave you one ‘Get out of Jail Free’ card to use, who would you use it on?”
What she means: I am thinking about Brad Pitt right now. Ask me the same question, so I can say Brad Pitt.
How you respond: “Nobody, sweetie. Why, who would you choose?” *she says Brad Pitt*
How you should NEVER respond: “I dunno; I’d probably use it on the lady who lives next door or something.”

What she says: “Do I look fat in this?”
What she means: Years of society repression, combined with the psychological scarring of a father who was never there for me, have left me with a deep-seated hatred of myself. I have no self-esteem, not even enough to get mad at myself, so I’ll put you on the spot so that I can get mad at you instead.
How you respond: “No way.”
How you should NEVER respond: “Does which part look fat?”

What she says: “WWWWHAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!!”
What she means: I am due.
How you respond: *buy chocolate*
How you should NEVER respond: So… what’re we havin’ for dinner?

What she says: “Honey… are you in there?”
What she means: Why does he need to take 45-minute dumps, anyway?
How you respond: [groan] “Be out in a minute, babe.” *stop reading War and Peace, wash hands*
How you should NEVER respond: “Be out in a minute, babe.” *finish reading War and Peace*

What she says: “When is the game over?”
What she means: A Law and Order rerun is on, and I don’t want to go upstairs and watch it. Sure, I’ve seen it five times before, but he has no need to hog the High-Def TV for something as silly as the Rose Bowl.
How you respond: “Just a couple more minutes, sweetie.”
How you should NEVER respond: “Which Law and Order? Is it one with that Angie Harmon lawyer-chick?”

What she says: “Are you still up there writing?”
What she means: Is he still writing in that stupid blog?
How you respond: “Be done in a minute.”
How you should NEVER respond: “Be done in a minute… I’m just finishing up a post about you, babe.”

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“Where is the Earth-shattering kaboom?”

The Moon has a brand new crater.

Meteoroids hit the Moon all the time, but on May 2, 2006, two NASA engineers managed to get this best-ever-video of an impact in progress:

Note the flash in the upper right of the image

The explosion released 17 billion joules of kinetic energy. To put that into perspective, when you hit a nail with a hammer, the impact releases about 150 joules. The impact shown above released one hundred million times more energy than that! That’s almost enough energy to run the electricity in your house for two years.

Which sounds impressive enough, until I tell you that the object was only 10 inches across… moving at 85,000 mph.

Image credit & copyright McNamara and Moser, MSFC.

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The awesome rate of innovation continues over at MadCap Software. Not resting on the initial success of Flare, the team has revealed yet another product, called Blaze.

Just like Flare is a 21st century replacement for the behemoth RoboHelp, (you have made the switch, haven’t you?), Blaze is intended to replace FrameMaker. FrameMaker users who have been patient and loyal for the past decade are finally about to have another choice.

When MadCap revealed Mimic, (a software simulation and e-learning development tool), Adobe suddenly got very interested in reminding people that the forgotten 2.0 version of Captivate was on its way. I expect the same will happen with FrameMaker.

However, the software marvel that is Flare has set a high bar. If Blaze achieves that same level - and more importantly, if it converts FrameMaker projects with the same ease that Flare converts old RoboHelp files - then Adobe will have a hard time keeping FrameMaker alive.

It seems clear that MadCap is targeting the entire workflow of the technical communication professional:

• Flare - native XML-based online documentation
• Mimic - software demonstrations and simulations
• Capture - screen captures
• Blaze - comprehensive printed documentation

The most exciting part is the potential integration these tools might have. Imagine having a Blaze project and a Flare project work seamlessly together, pulling content from the same XML source files. Yes, I know you can do that now, but not with products that were (potentially) designed from scratch to play well together.

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Housecat chases a black bear up a tree. Priceless.

Image credit Suzanne Giovanetti, AP. Click to embiggenate.

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